Conversion or Return

Question

Dear Rabbi,

Both my mother and father's side of the family have hidden their Jewish roots out of fear. My mother's side hid in the mid 1800's during the reformations in Germany, and my father's side much earlier than that.
I recently found that some family members knew that we were of a Jewish heritage, but did not tell other family members. I have cousins on my mothers side, who are practicing Judaism and who say that they always knew, but my mother's mother never told any of us that her family and even her husband's family, (my grandfather), came from a Jewish heritage. I have found my mother's maternal line in the JewishGen databases, as well. My father's paternal line is Levi, but they lost their practice of Judaism some time ago, and I can not pinpoint when that was.
My parents and I have felt very strong ties to Judaism all of my life, and my mother remembers asking her mother about it when she was a child also. We have all always felt Jewish, if I may put it that way, and our "religious" beliefs are perfectly in line with Judaism, although until recently we never went to synagogue. I have been attending Torah study for a few weeks now.
My question is this: I wish to return and help my family return to actively practicing Judaism. Must I convert, or is our "history" sufficient to be considered already Jewish? Is there such an understanding of "returning"? What are the official positions on this? (I get conflicting reports)

Answer

Your story is very beautiful and I very much respect your desire to research your family tree and find out more about your Jewish ancestry. It would be interesting to understand at which point and why members of your family decided to hide the fact that they were Jewish.
With respect to your question, family "history" does not make somebody Jewish under Jewish Law. To be considered "halachikally" Jewish, a person is either born of a Jewish mother or was converted to Judaism. It seems that you have good reasons to believe your mother is Jewish, but you should find a way to prove it. This is why, for the moment, you should concentrate your research to your mother's side. Who was your maternal grand mother, was she Jewish? Did she have a Jewish wedding? Was her mother Jewish? Try to find more about their history. You indicate that you found your mother's maternal line in the Jewish Gen database. If you are able to prove that your mother and grandmother are Jewish, than you too are Jewish.
You will have to be circumcised (if you are not already). Jewish Law does not require a ceremony for return, although such a ceremony exists.
If you cannot prove that your mother is Jewish, you will have no other choice but to go through the process of conversion, if you want to be recognized as a Jew according to Jewish Law. This could be a very positive experience, because the main part of the conversion process is learning and you have already begun to learn Torah, so I think that you may enjoy the process.
If you need some names of conservative Rabbis in your area, I could try to help you.

I hope you persevere,
Rabbi Monique Susskind Goldberg
November 2005