Conversion in Denmark Follow-up

Dear Rabbi,

I thank you very much for answering my e-mail, you've been very helpful.
We're definitely looking to find an egalitarian congregation, and I've found two interesting ones in London, one of which I know has a conversion program.
Unfortunately in Denmark it's either an orthodox or a progressive.
If it's okay with you I actually have a few more questions.
Both my girlfriend and I study at the university, I study Hebrew and my girlfriend, Cathrine, studies Danish and Danish literature. We can't really go anywhere until we've had our bachelor degree. It will take at least another three years before we'll be able to go anywhere for an actual conversion process, and Cathrine wants babies!
And she wants to start when she has received her bachelor degree so if she has her child before we have actually converted, could the rabbi then plop the baby into a mikveh and convert it?
A practical question concerning this is whether our child will be given the Hebrew name "something" ben/bat Avraham v'Sarah or would it be permissible to use our own chosen Hebrew names for our (converted) child?
Another question: We will most probably return to Denmark some time after our conversion but will it be a problem for a rabbi that we won't be able to return to a masorti shul in Denmark? We will be able to return to an egalitarian Jewish environment in Copenhagen, but a progressive one and not a masorti one.
What would your opinion be about us, after conversion, returning to Copenhagen to an egalitarian but progressive congregation and whenever possible going to London for Shabbat services and Jewish holydays?
Last question:
I could have started a conversion program in January but I didn't because progressive Judaism doesn't really feel like the ultimate right place for me and quite honestly I don't feel that the demands towards potential converts were high enough.
But would it be a big NO NO if I were to wait a year and than convert in the progressive shul so that I could get married with my girlfriend in a synagogue?
And then afterwards, when possible, undergo masorti conversion?

Answer

I do understand that you are and will be facing many difficulties in this long process of conversion. I very much respect your desire to convert in an egalitarian but halakhic framework and this is complicated if you do not have such a synagogue in your country. You understand that you will have to be in London for at least a year for the process, unless you both begin to study Judaism in Denmark.
As for your questions.
1) If you marry civilly and have a child, as soon as your wife will be ready for conversion, it will be necessary for the child to l go to the mikveh after she does. If it is a son, at eight days he will have to be circumcised by a moel "le shem giyur" (for the sake of conversion), and then go to mikveh as soon as his mother is converted. You and your wife will also have to have Huppa Vekidushin (a Jewish wedding).
2) About the name, I believe that a Conservative Beit Din would agree to use your chosen Hebrew names for your child's parent's name.
3) As a rule, a Conservative Rabbi should be open to the fact that upon your return to Denmark, you will choose to attend an egalitarian synagogue even if it is Reform. The way you keep halakha is your responsibility and you can do it even in a progressive environment. If you feel that for important Holydays you prefer to be in a masorti synagogue, it's a nice idea to go to London, or to Stockholm where there is an egalitarian Conservative synagogue. But that should not be a condition for your conversion. In general, a Masorti Beit Din for conversion does not make demands upon your future life. The way you keep Mitzvot is your responsibility. It is this responsibility that you take upon yourself when you convert.
4) Since a conversion in the Progressive Movement is not always according to Halakha, and as your girlfriend is not Jewish according to Halakha, I would not have a wedding in the progressive synagogue. I do not think it has any meaning if both of you intend to convert according to Halakha. In any case you will have to have a religious wedding after your conversion. So why do it twice? In my opinion it is better to have a civil wedding and when both of you are ready, convert and have a Jewish wedding. This does not mean that you cannot register for the classes, to begin with your learning.

I hope I answered your questions and do not hesitate to write again.

Rabbi Monique Susskind Goldberg
October 2006