Candidate to Conversion Dating a Secular Humanist Jew

Question

Dear Rabbis,

I have been looking at your answers to questions about conversion, but it seems that none particularly pertain to my situation.

After studying about Judaism and experiencing holidays and rituals for 3 years (within various movements) I have decided that I want to convert within the framework of Conservative Judaism because of its view on halakha and its openness to women. I have been incorporating more and more mitzvot into my life (for example, eating only kosher food at home and outside, studying Torah and Hebrew, dressing modestly, tznius, Shabbat dinner) and I want to do more in the future.

I am dating a ba'al she'elah (and secular humanist) who was formerly very observant, and we plan to get married in a couple of years when we are done with school. (I particularly wanted to date a Jew, because I knew I would convert eventually, and didn't want to end up marrying a non-Jew.) He supports me fully and will come with me to services once in a while, but would never become a member of a conservative synagogue. We have agreed that we will teach our children both about religion and secular studies. So this isn't really an inter-faith question, but an intra-faith one. I am wondering if anyone (in general) converting me would have a problem with this.

Answer

I do not see any reason a conservative Beit Din could object to your conversion. You seem very dedicated, your future husband is Jewish, and you are both willing to give your future children a Jewish education. The court may ask you if your fiancé will allow you to keep a kosher home and to observe Shabbat and holidays, which seems the case according to what you write. So I would say go ahead, continue your learning and when you feel ready ask your Rabbi how to proceed.

Good luck.

Rabbi Monique Susskind Goldberg
March 2005