Conservative Versus Orthodox Conversion

Question

Dear Rabbi,

I chose to convert according to the precepts of the Conservative movement because of my uncompromising egalitarianism and because I accept Halakha as both "binding and evolving" as Rabbi Epstein puts it so beautifully. However, I am virtually "orthopractic" and define myself as "egalitarian conservadox". For me that means that I strive to daven [pray] three times daily, wear a tallit [prayer shawl] and tefillin [phylacteries]. As further examples, I am shomeret Shabbat [mark the Sabbath day] in accordance with Orthodox practice, am shomeret kashrut [abide by Jewish law with respect to food choices] and say brachot [blessings] before and after eating. I am a dedicated Jew who loves Torah and I also maintain a progressive/inclusive point of view. I am somewhat troubled by the general lack of observance amongst the Conservative laity and although I try not to be judgmental, it makes me feel uncomfortable at times. I seek to cultivate a "mitzvah-consciousness" [the recognition that every aspect of daily life is inspired and commanded by God] and I respect that about Modern Orthodoxy.
It also troubles me a great deal that my conversion is not universally recognized .I have been contemplating an Orthodox conversion and have spoken to some very welcoming Modern Orthodox rabbis who empathize with my peculiar story. I went to speak to a rabbi at the Riverdale Institute, a cutting-edge Modern Orthodox community in New York and he said that he might be able to help me as long as I affiliate with a Modern Orthodox community after conversion.
Herein lies the question: I want to become a rabbi. I am very much interested in pursuing rabbinics at JTS. However, I cannot conceive of an Orthodox Beit Din - no matter how liberal it may be - approving a conversion by a woman who wants to become a rabbi in the Conservative movement! Strategically, it might be wise to convert Orthodox as well, but ethically, I cannot bring myself to a dishonest process. What do you think I should do?
It also hurts me terribly to think that although I can become an "oleh" under the Law of Return, I cannot be registered as a Jew by the Chief Rabbinate in Israel and that basically, Israel accepts my body and not my soul. To be classified as a "gentile" is painful and offensive to me. Could you update me on the latest news in the "Who is a Jew" controversy? Is there any way to solve this?
Another brief question: considering my Jewish ancestry, although unproven, must I be called up to the Torah according to my generic "bat Avraham v'Sarah" name or am I allowed to use the name of my mother? It would be very meaningful for both of us if that could be the case, although I understand possible halakhic difficulties of this...
Thank you so much!

Answer

We are glad that you were able to complete your conversion successfully. We can feel for your dilemma, but you will have to make some choices as you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Conservative conversions are halakhic, even if the Israeli Rabbinate does not recognize them. For the time being at least there is no such thing as Orthodox ordination for women, though some women would like it to exist. If you believe so deeply in egalitarianism, Orthodoxy is probably not the place for you, as the move towards egalitarianism is very slow there and it might take 30 or more years for them to allow what Conservative Judaism allows now. Wishing to recognize Reform and Conservative conversions whether performed in Israel or abroad, the Israeli High Court has requested that the government formulate a clear policy on what conversions are accepted. This, however, would only be valid for the Law of Return and would not be accepted by the Orthodox Rabbinate. They would not consider you or your children Jewish, but there are hundreds of thousands of Jews in that situation in Israel and eventually things should change. This could take a long time, though, and you should understand that this is the current situation. Should you have children who live in Israel and wish to be accepted by the Rabbinate, they could always convert. They could also convert abroad and then come on aliyah as full-fledged Jews. Without the conversion, they would still be able to become Israeli citizens and be part of a Conservative or Reform congregation. Your mother is probably proud of the process you have undergone and of the fact that you wish to become a rabbi. However, since there is no proof of her Jewishness, it does not appear that you would be permitted to use her name for aliyot to the Torah. We hope that this helps you. Feel free to be in touch with us again if you should feel it necessary.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Diana Villa
June 27, 2004